Pinocchio (1940) was Disney’s second full-length animated feature. The story follows wood-carver Geppetto and his puppet who is brought to life by the Blue Fairy. The film actually has some dark themes that are covered in typical Disney magic. It’s as classic as any other Golden Age Film and definitely a must-watch for any Disney fan.

I grew up on Italian food and absolutely love it. Since this movie takes place in Italy I decided to try and make my all-time favorite Italian soup: Pasta e fagioli. I love pasta e faioli and always order it at restaurants but never tried to make it myself until now. I started with this recipe and made modifications based on my personal preferences. It was absolutely delicious!

Since there’s a presence of seafood in the film I wanted to draw on some of the typical Italian seafood dishes. However, I myself don’t eat seafood. Therefore, I settled on a vegan version of shrimp scampi. This was the recipe that inspired me. It was quite good. The flavors were delicious but not overpowering. I would make this again for sure.

For dessert I wanted to do a cake since they eat it in the movie. Instead of a plain yellow cake I decided to make an almond cake, since it’s a traditional Italian flavor. I used this recipe. This cake was simply amazing; incredibly moist and delicious.

Italian food is my favorite and Pinocchio is a great film. Another great installment!

Coming Soon: Disney Dinner and a Movie: 101 Dalmations

Oh, hey…a board game based on a video game. That totally sounds like a worthwhile investment. Kinda like replacing a Blu-Ray with a VHS.

On the other hand, I’ve long loved the XCOM game series and have been playing them since the original came out in 1994. It’s also produced by Fantasy Flight who have a knack for capturing the feel of their source material. Their tabletop adaptations of Battlestar Galactica and Game of Thrones are praised for their ability to put the players in the mindset of the characters they take on. So let’s grab XCOM and give it a whirl. Let’s also download the free app, because the game doesn’t work without it. We’ll explain that in a moment.

For those not familiar, XCOM the video game series positions you as the commander of an international military and R&D organisation called ‘X-COM’, assembled and tasked with the sole of purpose of defending Earth from the aliens who have been launching attacks around the globe. You manage your resources, research and develop new equipment based on alien technology recovered from battles and run the show during combat missions. The board game takes the same approach but with a co-op angle. Each one of the (up to) four players is in charge of a different area of the XCOM organisation – Commander, Chief Scientist, Squad Leader and Central Officer.

What immediately separates this out from other co-op games like Pandemic and Shadows Over Camelot is the degree of specification each role has. Rather than the usual arrangement – each player having the same actions but with one special move – there’s practically no overlap in each persons goals and abilities. The Commander deploys the Interceptor jets to take down UFOs, chooses which Crisis will effect the team and makes sure you don’t exceed the budget. Chief Scientist chooses new technology cards to research and assigns scientists to the task. Squad Commander assigns soldiers of different types to missions and base defence. The Central Officer deploys satellites into orbit and communicates instructions from the app. Everyone has an equally important role to play, with the Chief Scientist needing to keep track of available upgrades that will be essential to winning the game, while the Squad Leader has to makes the right call on which soldier to place where to avoid casualties and defend the world, while the Commander prevents them both from over-spending in one area causing problems elsewhere.

Every round of play goes through the Timed Phase and then the Resolution Phase. The Timed Phase essentially sets the board for the second half where results are determined. Tasks are relayed one at a time from the app on a phone, tablet, etc., and given to the rest of the team by the Central Officer. Whether it’s deploying troops, picking a research focus, placing invading UFOs or collecting the budget you’ve got a limited amount of time to make your decision – usually about 10 seconds – before the game moves on. Once everything is set up the non-timed resolution phase allows players to complete missions, build technologies and everything else through dice rolls. You can keep rolling as long as you have units on the task, but every roll raises the threat level. It becomes a push-your-luck mechanic where the odds increasingly stack against you and you’re more likely to lose your assets. At the end of the round you input data about the global state of panic and damage done and it sets up the next round.

The app sounds like an odd inclusion at first. One might be hesitant to invest in a game that requires an app to function, or see it as a gimmick. Some board game do have apps to complement gameplay or add new features, but this game straight up does not work without it. That said, it’s extremely well integrated and very easy to use, never feeling like an intrusion. Having the randomised factors is a huge plus, and it streamlines the complex gameplay so that new players can pick it up quickly. The timer gives the game a level of tension few board games can achieve and the soundtrack and design add atmosphere to the play session. The only problem we’ve encountered was on the iPhone6+, when it would skip over some steps and wouldn’t backtrack. We had no problems with the iPad or iPad Mini. 

Another massive plus for the game is the removal of the co-op game Alpha player – that asshole who always takes charge of the game and begins dictating what everyone else should do because they’re convinced they’re the only one who can win it. Anyone who’s played a co-op has encountered this, the person who doesn’t grasp that a co-op game involves everyone playing it the way they want towards a common goal (I used to play with someone who’d reach over and take other people’s cards and play them). Everyone is so specialised and working on such a short timer that you only get enough time to offer brief advice and share ideas before a decision has to be made. It’s a co-op game that genuinely makes you feel like a team of individuals contributing to a whole.

It’s a fantastically presented game that perfectly captures the feeling and the tone of the source material. The board looks indecipherable at first but it’s designed so each unique role has their own space, and that makes sense. It’s complex without being fiddling and challenging without being frustrating. We’ve got about a 50% win rate and it randomises the game each time, so we’re looking forward to more plays. We’ve also tried some solo games, but the amount of information to manage makes it very difficult for anyone other than a seasoned player to play effectively. If you want a really good entry into the co-op gaming genre than put this on your wishlist.

Director: Ron Howard

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Benjamin Walker, Cillian Murphy, Tom Holland, Ben Winshaw, Brendan Gleeson

Plot: Herman Melville meets with the last survivor of the Essex, a whaling ship that sank under dubious circumstances. The survivor refutes the official story of of the ship running aground in favour of a malevolent giant albino whale destroying the ship.

Review: Right off the bat, this concept behind this movie is perplexing. It’s an adaptation of a book telling the story that inspired Moby Dick. Why not make a movie based on Moby Dick? You’ve got the brand name recognition and the legacy, and it’s a story that hasn’t been tackled by a modern film maker. Nonetheless we’re going with this idea, the story of sailors encountering a white whale bookended by Melville researching and writing Moby Dick.

The film, somehow set perpetually during sunset, carries a couple of different plot threads. Son of farmer turned respected whaler Owen Chase is first mate to rich boy first time captain George Pollard, Jr. (Hemsworth and Walker respectively). The two immediately clash in ideologies and class, leading them to frequently argue during the voyage. The whaling industry at the time gets explored for context, but the film is uncertain as to how it wants to portray the hunting of whales, especially with modern audiences generally frowning on the whole business. We go from Hemsworth striking a Thor pose on the prow of his boat, harpoon in hand and hair blowing in the breeze against the sunset while the music swells majestically to a grotesque sequence of the whale being butchered and Tom Holland being forced to crawl inside the carcass to collect blubber. Then there’s the conspiracy surrounding the sinking of the ship, but this is only briefly mentioned as a way to crowbar in Melville.

After about an hour we do get our first encounter with not-Moby Dick, who rather spectacularly demolishes the ship and leaves the crew stranded. This is a genuinely exciting sequence, and is the film’s peak. From this point on the inclusion of the whale staggers belief, true story or not. This is a straight up vigilante Batwhale, intent on hunting down and wiping out all whalers for their crimes. After a month at sea the stranded crew spy land only for the whale to pop out of the water to wreck their shit all over again, with Hemsworth yelling that it has followed them. FOR A MONTH. This whale spent a full month secretly following these boats, waiting for them to approach land so it’s extra hurtful when he attacks again. And then he pulls this stunt another two months later. This whale is straight up psychotic, and this isn’t even the first ship he’s hunted down.

The biggest failing of this maritime adventure is the lack of narrative flow. The movie shifts from scene to scene without any sense of passing time. At one point we jump a full year and without the subtitle informing us of this the scene might’ve been set an hour later. We see all but nothing of life aboard the ship, or what the characters do outside of delivering exposition. It often feels like they don’t do anything in between these time jumps. Towards the end of the film Holland asks Hemsworth if he has a family – after spending two and half years on a small ship together, three months of which is spent on a rowboat with one other person. Were they having staring contests this whole time?

As a whole the script feels like it’s a series of dot points, similar to the final act of A Beautiful Mind but stretched out for the entire running time. There’s no flow, little sense of realism and a disappointing lack of insight into the characters lives. The cast put in good performances and clearly went through a physical toil to bring out the stranded-at-sea look, but it’s wasted without a good story to back it up.

While this could’ve been a hearty slice of maritime cinema, or an exciting tale of survival, the poorly plotted story and lack of engagement with the audience lets it down. The final result is mediocre at best.

Rating: FOUR out of TEN

Buzz-worthy books of the week

All-New Inhumans #1

From what I gather from forums is that people really don’t care for the Inhumans new place in the Marvel universe. Most of those critics seem to take offense with it as a premise. I am enjoying the hell out of the books so whatever got them to this point is really none of my concern.

All-New X-Men #1

The original X-Men are sick of playing by the adults rules and are hitting the road along with Wolverine (X-23 that is), Kid Apocalypse (formerly Genesis), and Oya. Except no Jean Grey. I am down for this roster.

Doctor Strange #3

Strange’s new solo series has been pretty cool so far. Chris Bachalo’s graffiti like art works great for the crazy interdimensional beings that he has to contend with. In this given episode, he wakes up away from his home without his clothes, his talismans, or his spells.

Graduate #1

Sounds like this will be an anti-superhero superhero story. A girl who is hiding her invincibility now has to contend with both fame and infamy.

Harley’s Little Black Book #1

One of DC’s most popular characters, Harley Quinn, is getting a new bimonthly book where she teams up with random DC characters. First up: Wonder Woman.

Invincible Iron Man #4

Mary Jane joins Iron Man’s book.

James Bond #2

Ellis’ first issue was cool as hell, and I can’t wait to keep reading.

Jim Henson’s Storyteller: Dragons #1

The Jim Henson company adapts a number of dragon myths in this follow-up to their similar Witches series.

Mystery Girl #1

This series follows Trine Hampstead, a girl who can answer any question you have, except who she is.

Paper Girls #3

I totally missed recommending this on its second issue. I intended to follow up my recommendation of the first issue with the fact that I actually dug it quite a bit. These paper delivery girls are facing weird suicidal adults and killer ninjas after futzing with a weird machine.

Nailbiter #18

There is a brand new killer in Buckaroo, and it is bringing the FBI agents back to the small town whether they like it or not.

Red Wolf #1

Marvel is going to the Old West with Red Wolf, a Native American hero who stood up against Mayor Wilson Fisk in the wake of Sheriff Steve Rogers’ death. Red Wolf is now the only person right to fill the sheriff’s shoes.

Robin War #1

Damien finally makes it back to Gotham, and he isn’t happy. Bruce is amnesic, Batman is now half robot, there is a gang of Robins, and the former Robins barely trust each other anymore. Oh yea, and the Court of Owls is involved.

Sheriff of Babylon #1

This comic tells the story of a military contractor tasked with training a new Iraqi police force. They find themselves facing an American educated Iraqi crime boss. It is based on writer Tim King’s experience as a CIA operations officer.

Spidey #1

Marvel has been trying to revert Spider-Man back to his childhood for years. That’s what Ultimate Spiderman was about. That’s what Brand New Day was about. That’s what every outside media adaptation of Spider-Man has been about. So, they just went ahead and did it with its own separate book. Having their cake and eating it too.

Totally Awesome Hulk #1

I can’t imagine how pissed people must be that there is a new person being the Hulk that isn’t Bruce Banner. They get mad when Spider-Man has a web out of place. I like Amadeus Cho so I’m excited to see what he does as the big green guy.

Plot:  Adonis “Donnie” Johnson (Michael B. Jordan) never knew his famous father, heavyweight champion Apollo Creed.  The offspring of an affair between Creed and Adonis’ mother, Johnson grows up amidst foster homes and juvenile detention centers until Creed’s widow Mary Anne (Phylicia Rashad) tracks Donnie down and takes him in.  Although raised by Mary Anne to be a white-collar worker, Donnie secretly sneaks off to Mexico to fight in underground boxing matches.  When Donnie decides to quit his lucrative securities job and pursue boxing, Mary Anne shuts him out and Adonis discovers no trainer in Los Angeles will have anything to do with him.  Undeterred, Adonis heads to Philadelphia to track down his father’s famous rival and best friend, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) in hopes that Rocky will train him.  Hesitant at first, Rocky eventually accepts.  But can Adonis shrug off the shadow of his father and forge his own path?

Review:  The Rocky films were a seminal part of my childhood.  I grew up watching the iconic Italian Stallion pummel guys like Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, and Ivan Drago.  Rocky III and Rocky IV were always my favorites.  What kid (or adult for that matter) didn’t feel an insatiable urge to run up a mountain when they watched Rocky’s training montage featuring John Cafferty’s song “Heart’s on Fire” in Rocky IV?  It wasn’t until I got older that I learned to appreciate the original Rocky and Rocky II for their story as much as the boxing action.  Although Rocky Balboa redeemed the putrid pile of excrement that was Rocky V, I thought that was the last we’d seen of the iconic character on the big screen.

I was wrong.  And boy am I glad I was.

Make no mistake this isn’t a Rocky movie per se, but rather an original film that pays tribute to the past and manages to forge its own path while avoiding excessive nostalgia.  Creed stands apart as one of the better boxing movies ever to grace the silver screen.  It’s right on par with Raging Bull and of course, Rocky.  Creed wasn’t what I expected but the end result (with a few minor grievances) was a better movie than I could have possibly imagined.

While Stallone reprises his role as the titular Rocky Balboa (I’ll get to his performance in a bit) this film is first and foremost Michael B. Jordan’s movie.  As a young actor in the title role, he carries this film from start to finish.  Jordan demonstrates grit and determination balanced with a genuine sweetness that endears the audience to him, just as audiences fell in love with Stallone’s Balboa almost forty years ago.  Additionally, the chemistry between Jordan and Stallone electrifies the screen with multiple scenes that resonate with humor and intensity.  Not to be outdone, Jordan’s chemistry with Tessa Thompson, who plays Bianca, a singer and Adonis’ love interest, is just as good.  Thompson (Selma, Dear White People) delivers a nuanced Bianca that’s the anti-Adrian.  She’s a strong-willed and independent woman that’s the perfect match for Adonis.

Screenwriters Ryan Coogler and Aaron Covington also made a smart choice when creating the character of Adonis Johnson.  Rather than making him the legitimate son of Apollo Creed, he’s the product of an illicit affair.  I don’t think audiences would feel as much connection to Adonis if he’d been a silver spooned heir apparent.  Instead Donnie possesses a real chip on his shoulder and looks to blaze his own trail to boxing greatness.  Movie fans familiar with the severely overlooked Fruitvale Station surely recognized Jordan’s talent, but I’m positive Creed will catapult him into the national spotlight.  And with good cause I might offer.  Jordan also looks the part physically.  I can’t imagine how much time and effort he needed to put in to get into this kind of shape.  Dude looks like a real life Adonis.  Moreover (and I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks this) he looks like he could be Carl Weathers’ son.

As much as this is Jordan’s film, it’s also director Ryan Coogler’s movie through and through.  For a guy under thirty with only one directing credit to his name, Coogler (who also directed Jordan in Fruitvale Station) demonstrates a deft touch to storytelling that’s lacking in directors twenty years his senior.  There’s a line that Rocky keeps repeating in Creed, “One step, one punch, one round at a time.” Similarly, Coogler builds Creed one line, one shot, one scene at a time.  And the results are phenomenal.  There’s not a single extraneous scene in Creed.  Every scene, from the opening shots of Adonis in a juvenile detention center to the final round of Adonis’ fight with “Pretty” Ricky Conlan (Tony Bellew),  Coogler makes every second count.  Coogler showcases nods to the original Rocky, such as some well shot montage scenes and hints of Bill Conti’s original score from composer Ludwig Goransson.  Yet Creed never once comes across as self-indulgent nostalgia.  The result is a cohesive film that’s as inspirational as it is entertaining.

And then there’s Stallone.

Stallone’s portrayal of Rocky Balboa has ranged from captivating (Rocky) to hokey (Rocky V).  However, what Stallone does with Balboa in Creed is truly remarkable.  Somehow he’s able to breathe new life into an old character and delivers a subtle, powerful, and multi-layered performance that left me asking, “Where the Hell did that come from?!”  Stallone’s Rocky is a very different person than when audiences first met him in 1976.  Adrian and Paulie are both dead and his son Robert lives in Canada.  Until Adonis comes into Rocky’s life he’s literally an old man just waiting to die.  There’s a phenomenal scene later in the movie when Rocky discovers he has cancer, where Stallone laments to Jordan that everyone important in his life is gone so there’s nothing for him to live for.  That was the scene that convinced me that the Oscar buzz surrounding Stallone’s performance was legit.  I don’t think he’ll win but he certainly deserves a nomination.

Despite being an amazing film, Creed is not without it’s flaws.  The constant text appearing on-screen highlighting individual boxers’ stats was somewhat distracting.  Additionally, although I liked Bellew’s performance as Conlan dramatically, he didn’t really resemble a boxer from a physical standpoint.  That’s odd considering he’s an actual professional boxer.

These are minor grievances however.  It in no way takes away from the fact that Creed is a phenomenal film that captivates and commands your attention.  Do yourself a favor this holiday season and treat yourself to this movie.  I guarantee you won’t regret it.

My rating:  9/10

You can follow me on Twitter @DarthGandalf1

“Victims aren’t we all”

The Crow

directed by: Alex Proyas

The Scene: Having just been resurrected from the dead for the purpose of revenge on those who took everything from him, Eric Draven sets his sights on the knife wielding Tin Tin. Naturally it takes some time adjusting to his new supernatural abilities and the thug gets a few cheap shots on the undead musician. But under the watchful eye of the crow who returned him to life, Draven finally gets the upper hand on Tin Tin, taking one of his knives and giving him a final the final proverb of “Victims aren’t we all”. We do not see what is done to the murderous criminal but later when we hear the authorities discussing it we know it was brutal and violent.

The Deconstruction: In an age where comic book films are churned out at a rapid pace we tend to forget that the template of these modern films did not always exist. The Crow was a product of an era when filmmakers were left to their own devices in bringing the pages of comics to life. When Alex Proyas adapted James O’Barr’s acclaimed indie comic he did so in spectacular fashion, immersing the audience in a bleak rain drenched, blood soaked urban wasteland where a lone antihero roamed the streets relentless in his quest. Until this scene, the audience has been piecing together the narrative via conversations amongst characters and sepia soaked flashbacks awaiting the inevitable, and it is in this scene that hell finally breaks lose and Eric Draven claims his first victim. Unlike like the more polished action sequences modern audiences expect from comic films, the battle between these two is visceral and brutal. The tumultuous emotions the audience has kept bottled up until this point are finally released as the first of Draven’s victims goes down.

Best Moment: When Eric Draven gets his second wind during the fight and takes to Tin Tin taunting him with his trademark black humor before finishing the job.

“Follow me to box office glory!”

Some stories, especially ones based on novels, need more than one movie. The content is just so vast and expansive that collapsing the material into one 2 1/2 movie just wouldn’t work.  An element of the story could fall by the wayside, an important character shortchanged, or a critical monologue could be left out.  This goes doubly so for fantasy and science fiction adaptations.  For example you couldn’t make Frank Herbert’s original Dune trilogy into a one film.  Hell SyFy channel made a miniseries combing the second and third books and still couldn’t get everything in.

Yet there’s a difference between giving enough time to be true to the source material and overkill.  The problem is “more” doesn’t always equate to “better.”  Lately Hollywood’s go to has been unnecessary second helpings of sequels that would better be served as single, clean, and fluid film.  Five years ago when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I was released it initiated a trend that has continued throughout the decade.

And I am fucking tired of it.

Let’s go back to my Harry Potter example for a moment.  To be fair I thoroughly enjoyed both parts one and two.  I didn’t feel like there was a lot of fluff or wasted effort.  However, was it necessary to split the book into two parts?  Granted, Rowling’s seventh booth was the longest in the series by one hundred pages.  Producers split the film into two parts for the very same reason I touched on in my opening paragraph.  Keeping all the plot elements in tact would have resulted in one four and a half hour movie.  So in the case of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the choice worked.

As I stated, ostensibly the producers of Hallows wanted to retain certain key plot elements.  But don’t give me a vomit flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bean and tell me it’s cherry.  This decision was money based and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.  All you need to look at are the final box office returns for each film. Part one made $960.3 million worldwide and part two made $1.342 billion worldwide.  For all intents and purposes, Warner Bros. doubled their revenue.  The fact that both movies were entertaining and didn’t feel long-winded was just a happy coincidence.

“An extra film? Do you see the excitement in our brooding faces and vapid eyes?”

Not surprisingly other studios soon followed suit much to audiences’ horror. First up was The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I and Part II. The Twilight films were overhyped, soulless, vapid, and absent of substance or significance.  However, there’s no denying there’s a fan base and naturally they made money. Part I made $710 million and Part II made $829 million worldwide. Again, you double down and you get $1.5 billion in revenue for an already extremely financially successful franchise.   I guess two turd burgers are better than one even if they both taste like shit.

Then of course is the mother of all cash grabs, a greed fueled trilogy the size of Smaug the dragon himself.  I’m of course talking about The Hobbit trilogy.

I want to be very clear:  I liked The Hobbit movies, especially The Desolation of Smaug.  I didn’t love them like I did The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but The Hobbit is one of my favorite novels and it was nice to see it on the big screen.  Granted it was overdone, lacking in story, and CGI bloated, but for all that I enjoyed it for what it was.  Having said that, if there was ever an example of  splitting up a movie unnecessarily it’s The Hobbit trilogy.  You only need to perform simple math in order to come to that conclusion.  The Hobbit is a 300 page novel whereas The Fellowship of the Ring is 500 pages, yet was adapted into a single film.  Furthermore, The Fellowship of the Ring is a much more cohesive film than the three Hobbit movies combined. However, yet again greed drove this series.  Worldwide box office numbers don’t lie:

An Unexpected Journey:  $1.021 billion

The Desolation of Smaug:  $958 million

The Battle of the Five Armies:  $956 million

Almost $3 billion in revenue.  Unreal.

Accurate.

Sadly, this trend has not ceased.  In fact it’s getting worse.  The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I and Part II is just the latest example.  While I haven’t seen the latest film, there’s no question that Part I was the weakest of the series and the reason behind that fact is that it was watered down.  It was patently obvious at how desperately the people behind the film were stretching the material.

Despite this glaring problem, Hollywood shows no signs of changing.  Look no further than the Divergent series which just recently announced that the final book will be split into two parts.  I wouldn’t be surprised if The Maze Runner series follows suit.

Look I get it.  This is a business and Hollywood needs to make money, otherwise the movie industry would cease to exist.  However, audiences still deserve better.  Until studios stop sacrificing story and pacing at the altar of greed, this trend will continue.

And that’s just sad.

You can follow me on Twitter @DarthGandalf1

Director: Rob Letterman

Cast: Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush, Ryan Lee

Plot: Teenaged Zach and his mother move to a new town, where they encounter the bad tempered neighbour and his daughter, who catches his eye. While breaking into the neighbours house thinking she’s in trouble he learns that his neighbour is really R.L. Stine, author of the best selling ‘Goosebumps’ books and accidentally unleashes all the monsters from his books to run rampant.

Review: One thing we learned from the trailer is that they’ve got a pretty clever premise going on here. Rather than an original story or adapting one of the books, Jack Black plays R.L. Stine living as a recluse. Each of the monsters he has written about is a real and very dangerous, having been locked in a book to prevent them from causing chaos. When one of the original ‘Goosebumps’ manuscripts are unlocked, the monsters escape and set out on a bloodless (it is for kids) killing spree. Given that we’re working with a series renown for it’s twists and reworking of well known stories, this is a clever way to go about the movie and a good way to bring in all the familiar and popular creatures.

They’re not screaming. They’re yawning.

Sadly all their effort went into that premise, because the rest of the movie is as lazy as it comes. The rest of the script involves the heroes running away from one monster after another as they seek out the designated McGuffin to put a stop to it all. The fight the gnomes in the kitchen, then the giant bug on the road, then the werewolf in the shopping centre then Slappy the dummy at the end with the rest of the monsters making up little more than cameo appearances. Why Stine’s monsters come to life is left unexplained, it’s just something that ‘happened’. Why they get trapped in books and why the books have to be written on his typewriter are glossed over quicker than you can blink, leaving the script open for the actors mugging at the camera and more CGI monsters. 

Jack Black may be cast as Stine, but aside from the glasses he’s just playing Jack Black again, toned down for the young audience. He also voices Slappy the Dummy, the main villain in the piece, but he does little to distinguish the voice of the character so they often sound like one person talking to themselves. The two young leads, Minnette and Rush, do very well with the material they’re given and manage to be relatable, if cliched, characters with good chemistry. Unfortunately they get saddled with an immensely unfunny example of comedic relief who’s first gag is a gay joke, later followed up with some hilarious ‘girly’ screaming. He adds little to film and could’ve been cut without any fuss.

The CGI bringing the monsters to life is also admirable, giving them a bright, cartoony look without looking silly. The artwork from the books distinctive covers has been the basis for the design work and they do look great stomping around the town. None of them get especially well fleshed out though, with the expectation being that you’ve read the book. Slappy is the arch villain for Stine but there’s no backstory offered.

This is a movie perusing the nostalgia market. If you’re not a young viewer and you haven’t read the books then this movie doesn’t want to know you. The monsters are classic characters like werewolves for the most part, but the majority of the movie comes in references for fans only. Save it for the kids.

Rating: FIVE out of TEN

Most of our top 1o lists try to consider all angles. We try to rein in personal opinion as much as possible so we speak to the reader. Not today. It’s my birthday, and it’s my very own Top 10 TV Shows, by the barometer of me. In order to narrow this list down I’ve tried to stick to shows that have been consistently good during their run (sorry Community) and have gotten far enough through their lifespan to show that they’ve got staying power (maybe next time, Bojack Horseman).

You’re still the man, Bojack. The horseman.

If you want to know what else I’ve talked about on my birthday, here’s some stuff about archers and The Beatles.

10. Frontline

Let’s start with a local gem. Frontline ran in Australia during the 90s to great critical acclaim but never got picked up overseas in spite of its similarities to monster hits The Office and Summer Heights High. The premise is a behind-the-scenes look at a fictional current affairs show, taking a dryly satrical look at the immoral way they make their stories and cynical, ego-driven world view. From dim-witted host Mike Moore to the manipulative reporter Brooke Vanderberg, they’re a wonderfully horrible cast of characters.

What gave the show a real edge was their habit of parodying the news stories making headlines at the time. Every controversial story or journalist coming to public attention got a nod in the show, casting a bright spotlight on the problems that still exist in the current media driven culture. The show generated enough respect from the community that real Australian media and political figures often played themselves on screen, with the opposing candidates in the current federal election – John Howard and Paul Keating – appearing in a debate on the show. That’s the local equivalent of Obama and McCain appearing on Parks and Recreation.

9. Daria

There’s something to be said for a show that saw me, my father and my kid sister (ten years my junior) sitting down together to enjoy it. Daria is a show that will be fondly remembered by those who grew up in the 90s, perfectly capturing the era. Every familiar high school figure, parental archetype and teacher we encountered in our real life was represented in the show. It was consistently smart and while the style has put off newer viewers the original fans will always keep this on a pedestal. I doubt MTV will turn out something this insightful ever again.

8. Veronica Mars

There were a lot of shows that came out after Buffy the Vampire Slayer that tried to capture the same audience, some seeing the supernatural element as the crux of the show and giving us garbage like Ghost Whisperer. In the flip side of the coin we have shows like Veronica Mars, which took the same format and swapped out the horror genre tropes for Film Noir. The casting of young star Kristen Bell helped bring the show to life, and show runner Rob Thomas set an amazing tone for the series. Veronica is an outcast in her high school and her father is a local private investigator. In a town rife with corruption, blackmail, gangs, secrets and murder there’s plenty of work for him to do, and Veronica works in the family business alongside her father. She’s smart, brimming with sass and a devil for details. Crossing her earns you a spot on her revenge list, and she will pay that debt.

Clever mysteries and pay-offs make up the bulk of the individual episodes, with one large case tying each season together. It’s extremely well plotted to keep the audience involved and guessing, with some of the most entertaining leads in modern television. Quite often you’d watch it just to see Veronica tearing the culprit a new one at the end. Just a shame the crowd funded movie got hung up on running every single obscure cast member past the screen for a cameo instead of telling a great story, or we could’ve had more.

7. The Gruen Transfer

Time to mix in a non-fiction show. Down here in the land of Oz we get this fantastic panel show all about advertising and marketing. Hosted by comedian Will Anderson and co-hosted by leading advertisers Todd Sampson and Russel Howcroft along with weekly guests, it deconstructs the role and methods used by advertisers in the modern world. Over time the show has morphed and adapted to include Gruen Nation (focusing on federal elections), Gruen Sweat (looking at marketing associated with the Olympics) and Gruen Planet, taking a broader look at the role of marketing on a global level including politicians, the Royal Family and more. These days the show just goes by Gruen but is no less brilliant.

The show features multiple segments involving analysing the process of advertising, debating merits of the industry and challenging the guests to come up with ways to promote unmarketable products like whale meat or find the worst ads ever made. The show maintains a light, comedic tone – delivering plenty of laughs throughout – but takes a serious look at one of the most all encompassing forms of communication in our world. As someone who both studies and teachers media this is a real gift of a show, being both valuable as an educational resource while being entertaining enough for students to get drawn in. It’s little wonder some of the fake ads they’ve made have gone viral.

6. Avatar: The Last Airbender

The one show on this list aimed squarely at the younger crowd, but also one of the most mature. Set in a world where the human population are divided into four tribes, each one with individuals holding the ability to command the elements of water, earth, fire or air. Peace and balance is kept by the Avatar, one individual born with the ability to control all four of the elements and communicate with the spirit world. With the current Avatar missing for decades, the Fire Nation has been waging war against the other tibes and already destroyed the Air Nomads. The series begins with the return of the Avatar, a young boy named Aang, he goes on a journey to discover his power and restore the world to order.

For a show created for children, this has some amazing writing and character development behind it. Aang and his companions Katara, Sokka, Toph and villain turned ally Zuko are wonderfully layered and fleshed out characters, and following their journeys are as rewarding as they are entertaining. That would be enough, but there’s also he imaginative depiction of the Bending abilities, with every battle bringing something new and unique to the concept. This show is remarkable in that action, drama and comedy exist side by side and in equal measure. We weren’t even that disappointed when the show came to an end after three seasons because it was an immensely satisfying conclusion.

Then, of course, came Avatar: The Legend of Korra, following the next generation’s Avatar in a whole new world. Came very, very close to matching the original.

5. Game of Thrones

Breaking the rules a little bit here, as this show is still running and from this point on we don’t know where the writers are going with it. But what we’ve had thus far has been BRILLIANT. Like the #1 pick of this list, Game of Thrones took television to a whole new level. The sheer scale of the show is enormous for a big budget feature film but with a more complex, involving story and massive cast of fascinating characters. From Ayra Stark to Daenerys, Mother Dragons, to Jon Snow on The Wall, these seemingly unconnected characters provide keyhole glimpses at a conflict spanning the entire width of this fantasy world.

There’s been a surge of similar big budget shows since, such as Vikings and Black Sails, but Game of Thrones maintains its edge. This is in part to George R.R. Martin’s deep and dark imagination, but also down to some amazing casting. A special award needs to be created just for casting, as almost every member of extensive cast are perfectly matched to their roles. It’s easy to get invested in their stories because of how perfectly they play their parts. Then there’s the fact that any character could, at any time, get brutally murdered. Eye gouging, beheadings and betrayal are the order of the day. Although the endless violence and sex may deter some viewers, those with a strong stomach are in for a treat.

Just missing out on the list is Battlestar Galactica, a reboot that took sci-fi television to an equally brilliant level of writing, production and performance. Sadly it stuttered a bit in the final season.

4. Firefly

Yeah, the one that got away. I may rag on the Browncoats from time to time because, let’s face it, it’s not coming back, but what we’ve got left is one of the tightest, perfect examples of genre television the world has ever seen. The unseen potential the half season hinted at plays a part in the legacy of the show, as it’s left to the fans to imagine how it may have gone. Western and science-fiction come together in Joss Whedon’s new universe of scoundrels and cowboys, and we follow the crew of the ‘Serenity’ as they try to make it in the ‘verse. Nathan Fillion leads the charge as Mal Reynolds, now an icon of geek culture, and he shares perfect chemistry with the cast of mostly new actors who subsequently got picked up by bigger projects, including Alan Tudyk (the villain in every new Disney film), Gina Torres (Suits), Morena Baccarin (Homeland, Gotham), Jewel Staite (Stargate), Summer Glau (The Sarah Conner Chronicles), Ron Glass and Sean Maher.

The show played to Whedon’s strengths, building a detailed and involving mythos for the fictional world the characters inhabited and making the characters the heart of the show. The blending of cultures and genres made for a unique and rich setting that has been successfully adapted into other formats. Nowadays we get to live out our own Firefly adventures in the multitude of board games now available.

3. The Simpsons

I don’t really keep up with The Simpsons these days, but they’ve given us so many seasons of pure gold that you don’t need to. How bloody long has this been running? Well, when the show first aired in Australia I was the same age as Bart. Next year I’ll be turning the same age as Homer. I kinda hope they cancel the show in 2017 just to make that a neat little bit of personal trivia. At its best the show cast a cruelly humorous mirror up to the work, using stereotypes as the primary basis of humour. It’s massive range of characters and talented voice cast backed by brilliant writers have helped inform the style of humour for an entire generation. It also opened the doors to edgier and more adult animated programming such as South Park and Bojack Horseman, and the world is a better place for it.

2. Doctor Who

In a word: adventure. Beginning life more than 50 years ago the tale of an alien time traveller known as the ‘Doctor’ and his spacecraft disguised as a Police Box (used by British police in the 60s to detain criminals and call reinforcements), the show was intended to educate as well as entertain by switching between historical and science based stories. Eventually they dropped the education pre-tense and focused on imaginative story-telling. As the show gained popularity and the elderly William Hartnell struggled to keep up the workload they introduced the concept of ‘regeneration’. When the Doctor sustains life threatening injuries, he regenerates his body (and to a degree his personality), allowing new actors to take on the role and for the character to adapt to the changing times. We’re on our 13th official version of the character and rumour is that we’ll see the 14th before long.

The Doctor and his companions, the people (humans, aliens, robots, things) that he invites to travel with him explore space and time and get into all manner of scrapes. They battle evil monsters such as the iconic Daleks, Cybermen and Weeping Angels and rub elbows with famous figures ranging from Shakespeare to Churchill to Marco Polo while changing history and their own lives. The characters remain the heart of the show with some of the companions going on to lead successful post-Doctor Who careers, such as Billie Piper and John Barrowman, and fan debates constantly raging about who the best Doctor is. For the record I like all of them except the 6th. It’s a wonderfully good-hearted show that can be goofily funny, inspiring, haunting and heartbreaking. It’s very much an icon of the genre and British culture.

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I was 13 when the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer turned up at the local video store and while it wasn’t terrible, it was pretty damn cheesy. Cheesy enough to have Luke Perry in it. Some parts of the movie totally work, with Donald Sutherland playing the Watcher and Rutger Hauer as the bad guy, and some genuinely funny moments. When the movie’s original writer developed the concept into a TV series 5 years later I didn’t pay it much attention. It wasn’t until the 3rd season episode ‘The Wish’ that I caught an episode and was immediately hooked. It says something that an episode based in an alternate universe, playing to audience expectations of the characters, can be so engaging for a new viewer. I followed the show from that point on, and eventually went back and filled in the gaps when the DVDs started coming out, as well as picking up comics, playing games and everything else I could find.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was in full swing when I transitioned from high school to university to partake in media studies. There fans gathered together to talk about the genius of Joss Whedon. BtVS was a landmark series, redefining the structure of serialised television and proving that a genre based series can’t have top shelf writing behind it. Whedon’s team of writers became as well known to fans as the actors and have gone on to work on other ground breaking shows including Daredevil and Game of Thrones. Buffy was smart, funny, quotable, clever and on occasion downright scary, and it forced television to left its game. It was also one of the first shows to bring together a passionate geek community online, becoming an early landmark  in modern geek culture. If you haven’t seen it, start watching tonight.

Also worth a look – spin off series Angel, continuing the adventures with a noir flavour.

Buzz-worthy books of the week.

Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1

DC Comics and IDW are teaming up to crossover two of the most iconic comic book franchises of old time, the two right there in the title of the book. And on the picture of the cover. You know who they are. I’m hoping for a ninja war between Ra’s and Shredder, but that’s just me.

Grayson #15

It is part 2 of the Robin War. Grayson has returned to Gotham to pitch in with Jason and Tim. And that is exactly what the Court of Owls wanted.

Kingdom Bum #1

Described as “Game of Thrones” of the cardboard home world. What?

Scarlet Witch #1

Marvel’s resident crazy pants who went walkabout and got better, sort of, I guess, is getting her own series. After years of being AWOL after effecting the world the way she did, she’ll probably have a lot to make up for.

Snow Blind #1

When a kid posts an image of his Alaskan family to facebook, he bits off more than he can chew. He realizes his parents are in witness protection, and there cover is blown.

Uncanny Avengers #3

Cable joins the Avengers. Probably to clean up after Deadpool.

There’s a lot of animosity towards the upcoming Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice film.  It extends back not just to the casting of Ben Affleck (which I’m glad that bitch-fest has died down, he looks like he’s gonna crush it) but all the way to Man of Steel.  It’s a very polarizing film for fans.  Seems people either love it or hate it.  Personally I’m in the former category. Reasons for the vitriol have run the gamut, from color palette, to acting, to character representation, to story, to too much CGI. Overall, the negative connotations of MOS, DOJ, and other upcoming DCU films appears to partly stem from the fact that it’s not Marvel.

But that’s a debate for another day and another article.

Let’s focus on the point of this article, character traits  and more specifically that Batman and Superman don’t kill.  Also as a corollary for Batman, the notion that he doesn’t use guns.  These statements are generally accepted tenants of both superheroes.  The release of the latest DOJ trailer has once again produced nerd rage regarding Supes and Bats onscreen.  Hardcore DC fans were already pissed that Superman killed Zod in Man of Steel and the vitriol continued when shots showed Batman holding a gun in the latest DOJ trailer.  And lo the outcry was heard from star to star across the nerdverse, “Batman doesn’t use guns and he and Superman don’t kill.”

Except they have actually.  Plenty of times.  When you say?  I’m glad you asked.  Let’s start with Batman:

Batman’s lust for blood (relax I’m being hyperbolic) reaches back as far as Batman #1 in 1940.  Let me say that again for the people in the back row: THE FIRST GODDAMN ISSUE OF BATMAN.  The debut comic finds the Caped Crusader tracking down a villain who’s experimented on mental patients to create muscled up thugs.  To resolve this issue Batman guns down a truck driver with a rifle.  This causes the truck to crash, killing every criminal in the back.  But that’s not all.  One of the mental patients escapes from the truck.  The Dark Knight decides it’s then a good idea to put a steel noose around the guy’s neck and hang him from the Batplane.  These don’t seem like the actions of guy with a strong moral compass.

At this point you may be saying, “Darth this was 75 years ago during WWII where people had different views on social issues, there was rampant xenophobia, etc.”  Fair enough.  How about a more recent example.

The above image comes courtesy of All-Star Batman and Robin #7 from 2007.  Or as I like to refer to it, “Batman Goes Medieval On Thugs Stealing Bleach And Then Gets Freaky With Black Canary.”  You read that right. BLEACH.  I guess criminals want whiter whites too.  In any case, Bats feels so strongly that these guys have violated the honor of Clorox, that he takes bleach, combines it with thermite, sets it on fire, and throws it at them.  Not surprisingly they all burn to death.  Batman also adds a little flair by pummeling some of the thieves already on fire.  You’d think this is crazy enough but then things get…weird.

“Hey Canary, you ever see the movie ‘Crash’? No not the one with Sandra Bullock, the 1996 one with James Spader. This is gonna be kind of like that.  Oh by the way the safe phrase is ‘utility belt’.”

Ok so I gave you some comic book examples.  What about a film example?

While I still hold Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy as my favorite representation of Batman on-screen, I still love 1989’s Batman.   However,
Tim Burton apparently didn’t get the memo that Batman doesn’t kill as this scene clearly proves.  In a scene just prior to this, Michael Keaton’s Batman tells the Joker he’s going to kill him.  He then puts deed to word and grapples Joker’s leg to a gargoyle statue.  The statue subsequently comes loose and the weight of the statue drags Joker to his death.  Now I guess you can make the claim that Batman merely meant to secure Joker to the statue and the gargoyle coming loose was just an unfortunate event.  To me though that’s just equivocation.  Batman’s intent was to murder the Joker and that’s exactly what he did.

These are just three of the numerous examples of Batman killing over the years.  Others include crushing Mongols with a giant statue and starving a villain named KGBeast to death.  That last villain was sent over to the USA from Soviet Russia to kill everyone involved with the Star Wars program because Reagan and the 1980s.  Regardless facts are facts.  Batman does kill and does use guns on occasion.

The Last Son of Krypton also kills:

Just like his Justice League partner, Superman killing goes back to the first two issues of the Superman comicbook in 1940.  Not content with throwing a general off a cliff and destroying an army plane, Supes also blows up a munitions factory–all in the first issue.  Not to be outdone the second issue finds the Man of Steel breaking into a villain’s laboratory and killing him with his own poison gas.  As you can see in the panel above he even gloats about the poison not affecting his alien biochemistry.  Not exactly the epitome of the all American hero we’ve been led to believe Superman is.

The above comic example isn’t as recent as my All-Star Batman and Robin example (1986 to be precise) but it is more recent than 1940. Comicbook deconstructor extraordinaire Alan Moore took Clark Kent’s alter ego on with the two-part story Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? In this two-part story Lex Luthor reveals Superman’s true identity to the world.  This results (somehow) in Brainiac and the League of Supervillains murdering Lana Lang and Jimmy Olsen.  When Superman discovers the whole thing was actually orchestrated by longtime Superman villain Mr. Mxyzptlk, Superman concludes the logical reaction is to trap the nefarious man from the fifth dimension in between two dimensions, thus killing him.  This example is actually a twofer, as shortly thereafter, Superman enters the Gold Kryptonite Room in the Fortress of Solitude and commits suicide.  Damn that’s dark.  How about that?  A dark story from Alan Moore.  Who’d have thunk it?

Many fans who rail against the notion that Batman doesn’t kill point to the below example:

This of course an image from the infamous scene at the end of Man of Steel where, choosing his adopted home and people over his fellow Kryptonians, Henry Cavill kills General Zod in order to save a human family.  Superman fans screamed so loud at this “travesty” they might as well have been at a One Direction concert.

What’s interesting is that those who deride this scene yet love the original films with Christopher Reeve, tend to ignore this scene:

Apparently, people who extol the virtues of the original two films and contend that Superman never kills have more selective memories than Roger Clemens at a congressional hearing on steroid use.  And don’t give me that bullshit about, “Well we never actually see the body.”  I didn’t just fall off  Jor-El’s flying beast Kelex.  Zod’s death is more obvious than Superman’s signature  hair curl.

As with Batman these are just a few instances where Superman kills.  Other examples include Supes killing Imperiex and Brainiac to save the universe, and ripping out the Joker’s heart in an alternate dimension.

Having said all this, I actually believe that for the most part, Batman and Superman follow their code of not killing.  And it’s a good thing.  It’s something that endears them to us.  I think some fans however are using this precept against the DOJ trailer as a way to justify their conclusions that the movie is going to suck.  I’m more concerned about Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor.  Either way how about we wait until the movie actually comes out before we make a judgement.

The problem with the rationale of this precept is that it’s fundamentally flawed.  Both superheroes have killed in the past and there’s plenty of evidence to back this up.

To misquote an old adage, “The proof is in the Kryptonian pudding.”

You can follow me on Twitter @DarthGandalf1

Directed by: Jonathan Levine

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anthony Mackie, and Seth Rogen

Plot:  Three lifelong friends with a drunken Christmas Eve tradition go for one last binge.

Review:

It seems like Seth Rogen is constantly coming-of-age. Here, he plays Isaac, a lawyer and expecting father who is now sober thanks to simply getting older and having better things to do. He has a tradition though, that every Christmas Eve, he goes out and gets wasted with his two high school buddies, Chris (Anthony Mackie) and Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). As a thank you for being so great during the pregnancy, Rogen’s wife, played excellently by Jillian Bell, a perfect partner for Rogen’s casual banter, gifts him a whole bunch of drugs so that he can really let loose. This sends him down a self-reflective trip that makes him a zombie for most of the A-story. However, it makes for some really fantastic jumps inside of his whacked out thought process revealing deeper truths. That has always been Rogen’s strength. We tend to think we are only coming-of-age for a certain period of our lives, but we are always coming-of-age. He is constantly updating the that story so that his characters are always dealing with age appropriate problems. Just usually doing age inappropriate things.

This is not Rogen’s movie though. It looks and feels like one, but he is uncredited in its development. In his place, are his 50/50 collaborators, director Jonathan Levine and writer Evan Goldberg (Rogen’s own lifelong friend), as well as Kyle Hunter and Ariel Shaffir also getting writing credits. He is not even the main character. If anything, it is Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s movie. He plays Ethan, a struggling musician with a crappy day job. He is perpetually immature and lacks almost all ambition. This is all a product of losing his family around the holidays back when he was a teenager. It was his loneliness that birthed the tradition that he and his friends now feel obligated to continue. Mackie’s Chris has his own demons to expel. Hitting the early retirement age of football players, he starts juicing and sucking up to the starters on his team to try to make something of himself before it is too late. These problems are stealing their attention from each other, but these friends are so much more like family then they are willing to admit.

Is it funny though? Yea, some times, I guess. I was sort of surprised how few times I laughed while I watched this movie, especially considering the veracity with which they tried to be funny. Not being funny is not the same as not being entertaining. The Night Before is, in fact, very entertaining. It isn’t just a stoner comedy though, it is an After Hours-esque chaotic night on the town, as well as an effort to be a new Christmas classic, a difficult feat in its own right. In order for it to be entertaining at all of those, it needs to be more vaudevillian. It needs action sequences, colorful non-sequiturs, some musical numbers, and some honestly blunt but simplistically resolved (in a good way) romance and drama. It has that in spades. I could definitely see this becoming an annual holiday viewing.

Rating: 8/10

There’s a tabletop game on Kickstarter at the moment right now called ‘Secret Hitler‘, a game based around advancing your teams agenda without knowing exactly who else is on your team. Also one player is secretly Hitler. One of the selling points is how intense and paranoid the players get not knowing who they can trust and who’s going to stab them in the back.

Very secret Hitler.

I’ve backed this one because I love this kind of thing in my games. In the six months we’re waiting to secretly be Hitler I’ve got another ten games with clever traitor mechanics to make your friends hate you.

10. Heroes Wanted

Wait, traitor mechanic in ‘Heroes Wanted’, that brightly coloured and whacky superhero romp? Well…technically not. But let’s not forget that the game gives you points for punching out the other player’s hero if you’re bored smacking around the bad guy’s minions and this can be the most shocking and offensive betrayal of them all. You’re in this together, every nutty superhero is there for the same reason and having Cyborg Insect turn around and uppercut you for a couple of extra points is downright hurtful.

9. Coup

‘Coup’, along with list contender ‘Spyfall’, is a game that tests your ability to bullshit your friends and family. You get two cards with characters on them and each character gives you an ability you can use to screw over another player. On your turn you declare what action your going to take without revealing your cards – hence the potential for bullshit. Other players can call you out at this point, but there are steep penalties for being wrong. Cue the shifty eyes and long lasting grudges.

8. Shadows Over Camelot

A hefty chunk of my game collection is made up of Days of Wonder games because they always look so darn pretty. ‘Shadows Over Camelot’ certainly looks very pretty, which is misleading because it’s downright evil. Evil captured in a couple of stacks of cards and a bundle of miniatures. The players take on the role of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they protect the land from a ridiculous number of threats. Sir Lancelot is being a prick, the Black Knight is running around, the Grail is being corrupted, Excalibur is literally floating away down a river, there are 2 flavours of invading armies, an army of catapults outside the castle and a fucking dragon. You don’t have the resources or the strength to deal with all of this, so you have to work together to hold the darkness back until you have enough points to declare yourself winner. It’s downright frustrating.

Oh, and one of your number might be a traitor. Might be. So not only are you side-eyeing everyone trying to work out who is working against the team, the sense of paranoia might be for naught. Damn this game.

7. Game of Thrones

If there’s one thing Fantasy Flight does well with their licensed properties is that they capture the tone of the source material. In their board game adaptation of ‘Game of Thrones’ they put each player in charge of one of the six major houses of Westeros shortly after the death of King Baratheon and leaves them to battle it out for control. Politics plays as much a role as strategic thinking, so expect to enter into shaky alliances and short term agreements over military support to get an edge. But as they said in South Park, much of ‘Game of Thrones’ involves walking through gardens and talking about betrayal. You all know that these alliances aren’t going to hold up…it’s just down to who makes the first move.

6. Betrayal at House on the Hill

It’s right there in the title! This is a horror movie compendium in a board game box. Players are a group of explorers checking out the big, creepy house on, well, the hill and at some point one of the team will be revealed to be a traitor who has lured you to your doom. Who is the traitor? Why have they done it? It might be you and you won’t know until the right set of random events line up. The betrayal can come in many forms including zombies, demons, werewolves, aliens and more. My personal favourite was when an alien infection was being transmitted from person to person without knowing who had it, The Thing style. I was given the task of creating the cure by the survivors, who did not suspect I’d already been infected. Although developing the cure went against the goal of my game, I played along until I had the cure…then I gave the cure to my dog and sent him running! Mwahahahaha!

5. Kremlin

‘Kremlin’ takes the expression playing politics to a much more literal level. Russian politics is portrayed as rife with backstabbing, accusations and shipping people out to prison camps, and players lurk in the shadows pulling the strings. The crux of the game is not revealing who you secretly control during the shuffle of characters through the Politburo. You might invest all your time building one character up through the ranks at great personal risk and sacrifice only for an opponent to step up at the last moment and take all the reward. It’s a crafty game to say the least.

4. One Night Ultimate Werewolf

There’s more than a couple of ‘Werewolf’ style games on the market and they’re consistently popular, but few give you the capacity to mess with your friends like ‘One Night Ultimate Werewolf’. Everyone gets a secret role that places them on the side of the werewolves or the innocent villages, each of whom has their own set of instructions that involves sneaking a look at other roles, swapping roles around or trying to take the fall for the real villains. It’s a short, intense game that piles lies upon lies and breeds distrust.

3. Battlestar Galactica

Goddamn Cylons. For those not familiar with the source material, Cylons are evolved artificial intelligence creations of man who have decided that they’d rather run the show. They can perfectly replicate human bodies, and often the undercover Cylon agents won’t know that they’re Cylons themselves. In the board game every player takes on a character from the rebooted show, and will receive a secret card to indicate whether they are a jolly human or an evil Cylon sent to prevent the remaining members of the human race from surviving. Just to mix things up, everyone gets a second card halfway through the game, which may inform them that they were playing the wrong side from the beginning. Either way, someone at the table is a traitor not just to you but the entire human race.

2. The Resistance

Each player in this game is a member of a resistance group and trying to overthrow the government, so it could be said that everyone is a traitor from the beginning. But…some of the people in this resistance are government operatives and are out to be betray the traitors! During the game the players set up missions and vote on whether or not they go ahead, with every move and every word coming under intense scrutiny. There’s no dice rolling, no drawing cards…just careful plotting and deep suspicion.

1. Dead of Winter

Now, if you want a genuinely paranoid experience try putting yourself in a survival situation with your friends where there isn’t enough food to go around. And zombies are outside. Each player gets a small band of survivors during a zombie outbreak and you’re all holed up together to wait out the winter. You’ll need to risk the undead and the weather to scavenge supplies from the nearby town so you’ve got enough food, weapons, fuel and whatnot to survive week to week. That’s the main goal. Every player will also have their own secret goal to complete, one that may not go along with the goals of the group as a whole. Raised voices are expected when there’s a flu outbreak in the colony and someone’s suspected of hoarding medicine because they’re secretly a hypochondriac, or maybe someone has been holding out on the food because they think they’re going to be kicked out to fend for themselves. You may all be working towards the one goal of survival, but you won’t trust each other.

When you think of the most prominent comic book companies in film, you conclude on Marvel & DC. These are the two big publishers who are dominating the film business right now. As aforementioned, these are big time publishers. Success has been habitual for them. How about the indie comics market? The Walking Dead is the most obvious example of an independent comic making it big. As huge tentpole films like Avengers: Infinity War and Justice League hit our theaters soon, fatigue could be setting in. Not comic book film fatigue as a whole, but fatigue from what we’ve been getting the last 10 years. Let me explain.

As we enter another year with several more comic book movies on the horizon, maybe we, as fans, need to contemplate enough is enough. I love comic book films. They entertain me, they move me and sometimes, they make me think on certain issues and/or topics worth pondering over. It’s amazing to see my favorite heroes come to life on the silver screen. I admire the fun and adventurous atmosphere of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I love the X-Men movies and how they’ve always provided very deep, emotionally evocative material. I’m very excited for what the DCEU will bring to the table.

As the release dates gets closer, I tend to be more indifferent. I approach these films with a “please entertain me” proposition; at the least. And they usually do entertain me as I watch them. At times, you get a gem like The Dark Knight, X-Men: Days of Future Past or Captain America: The Winter Soldier; comic book films that sort of do something extraordinary by attacking some larger societal issue in their narrative.  Even with those films, they, at times, possess the run of the mill “superhero film formula”. My main gripe I guess is that most modern comic book films are the same: you know the narrative before going in, the set ups are endless and there’s always a climactic battle with an excessive use of CGI. There is just no shock factor or anything unconventional to these films. This is not a fault of the genre, but more so Hollywood and how they produce these films. As aforesaid, there are surprises that are different from the usual tentpole superhero film. But, I think the “formulaic” aspects infecting the bigger films, is a serious problem; even if it doesn’t affect the gems. Those special rare comic book movies (CBMs) aren’t frequent.  I sound like I hate these films and I don’t. I love them. But, as a comic book fan who’s recently been revisiting some comics that deviate from the norm, I wonder what these deviations would look like on the big screen.

I want to acknowledge a few of those films, and/or franchises that set themselves apart from the rest. They embrace something different. They break what’s conventional.

X-Men Franchise – Standing up for the “different” guy

The X-Men films will always give recognition to a group in society that’s the victim of bigotry.

Guardians of The Galaxy – Each one of us is fucked up

Heroes who don’t always stand for truth, justice and you know the rest. They’re flawed in a very authentic way. They cure their own cohesive flaw, which is lonesomeness. They were all lonely at one point, but they stood for something together and became a family.
 

The Dark Knight – Goes without saying…

Captain America: The Winter Soldier – Dark political subtext for everyone

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is as refreshing as it is pertinent. It dives into political minefields in an intelligent and gripping manner. The conspiracy thriller sneaks some meaningful commentary into a popcorn blockbuster.  It conveys a relevant message that’s as old fashioned at the titular hero.

The modern comic book movie (with a few exceptions, as I’ve stated) is fluff. I think the reason I feel this way is because these movies are increasingly becoming more and more empty calories. As a Marvel fan, I can admit, they are guilty of the formula. It’s easy to blame them because they started this whole modern golden age of CBMs. But, other studios have followed suit in Marvel’s occasional “formula fever”. On a different note, I think we demand too much from our comic book movies as well. We expect greatness every time. I think we’ve been spoiled by The Dark Knight, The Avengers etc. But, this spoiled feeling is unjustified as these amazing CBMs are rare. There have been dozens of comic book films and only a little more than a handful are close to perfection. I am grateful to receive entertaining films at the least. But, I’m yearning for something new. My excitement for upcoming films like Justice League, Wonder Woman, Avengers: Infinity War and Black Panther are still strong. But, as much as I like spinach manicotti, I’d like to try something new every once in a while. That’s where indie comics come in.

Comic book films are suspected to be all flowing capes, alien invasions and good versus evil. The comic book movie genre isn’t going anywhere any time soon, but if we have to have some, why not dig a little deeper? Why not look for some obscure great comics that are worthy of a film adaptation? There are indie comics out there that are as intriguing as any Marvel and DC film or comic. The big studios who are spending millions (billions I you believe certain rumors) on Marvel and DC are missing out on some smaller, special independent properties. Kingsman, Road to Perdition and A History of Violence are films that received critical acclaim and are all comic book films. They originate from the indie division of comics. Again, I reiterate, not that there is anything wrong with Marvel or DC, but they seem to have done the bare minimum to diversify; or at least, they struggle with things they shouldn’t struggle with. (There shouldn’t be a fear of a female driven comic book film; I get the business aspect playing a part, but CBMs are at a point of succession where, they can afford the risk of failure I believe). There have been some strides made in giving indie comics some mad love (no pun intended). Ellen Page vehicle “Queen & Country” is said to be happening sometime. Tom Hardy is giving us a “100 Bullets” film (CAN’T WAIT!). “Sex Criminals” is coming to cable TV. “Cowboy Ninja Viking” is being led by Chris Pratt. There are some impressive irons in the fire. Let’s keep the fire burning.

The best way I can continue to propose how indie comics are a great future for CBMs, is by giving some excellent examples. There are a bevy of titles that are some of the best comics I’ve read—ever. Here are some below. (These are some of my favorites. I had to make some hard choices concerning which ones I wanted to highlight.)

The Massive
Dark Horse Comics

The Rundown: Welcome to a world where every big environmental disaster happened at once. This resulted in a post-apocalyptic landscape for the Earth. In this thriller, a boat, dubbed The Massive, which belongs to a fraternity of environmentalists, goes missing. A sistership, named the Kapital, searches for the missing sea vessel while contending with pirates, storms and all types of mess.

Why it’s So Damn Cool: Notice how the story isn’t your typical comic book fare. It has the story that’s reminiscent of an independent film. The events in The Massive aren’t world ending as much as they are world changing. That’s the beauty of it. Whilst, Avengers films and justice league films will, mostly likely, always have a world ending scenario, a comic like The Massive merely alters the Earth; even If the Earth is already a barren wasteland. An alien invasion or a psychotic android doesn’t threaten the world in this story, Mother Nature does. It’s not the typical post-apocalyptic story. You may be thinking this 2012 or The Day After Tomorrow. Those films focused on spectacle and he events that shaped the stricken worlds; The Massive is built on the characters and how they maneuver through this god forsaken world. There’ a reflection of the world they inhabit, as they are as broken as the ground they walk on. Survival is the core of the story. If you like films like The Martian or Castaway, you’ll love this comic. Our protagonists struggle more with themselves than others. How far would you go to survive? What does a world without hope do to your mind?
I suggest you pick it up. It’s an amazing read.

Criminal Macabre
Dark Horse Comics
IDW Publishing

The Rundown: A drug fiend monster hunter who’s as sarcastically deadpan as April from Parks and Rec.  I had to have gotten your attention with that. Cal McDonald is a hardass who kills monsters for a living. The story is, I admit, eerily similar to Constantine. But, that’s good. Constantine is one of the few comic book properties that are so damn different these days. The stories are dirty, gritty and just hardcore as hell.

Why it’s So Damn Cool: I recently re-read the first issue and I couldn’t put it down. I was hooked. The Constantine parallels and the fact that Thomas Jane has said “he’s born to play the role’ is enough to justify its big screen potential.

FATALE
Image Comics

The Rundown: An immortal femme fatale goes through time bending the will of men she encounters. She does all this while running from a cult of Lovecraftian admirers.

Why it’s So Damn Cool: Its Ed Brubaker. Everything he writes is great. (Check out Sleeper and Criminal) Its noir and horror blended together beautifully.  It’s a psychological horror tale that’s imbued with Lovecraftian elements.  It’s my favorite series right now. The dialogue is so noir. But, it’s still very impressive; straight out of an old 1940s noir mystery. There’s’ gangsters’ demons, cults and Cthulhu.  The protagonist is an awful person. The men she manipulates are awful. There are no heroes in this, to be honest. And that’s refreshing.

Pretty Deadly
Image Comics

The Rundown: Narrated by a bunny and butterfly (very weird, but good), Death’s scarred daughter rides from town to town seeking revenge. I just started reading this and it’s immensely weird, but pleasantly fascinating. It’s a dark psychological western that’s sprinkled with horror and magic.

Why it’s so Damn Cool: I’m not going to lie, the first time I read it I realized by the second chapter that I had absolutely no idea what was happening. It’s like Inception but a comic book; it takes a second reading to get it. It’s very intimate and poetic. It’s also extremely gory; its Kill Bill level gore. The artwork is stunning and inspires great cinematography on the silver screen. It remained me of the anime Samurai Champloo, (if you’re familiar; if not check it out), in terms of its Far East tone and lyrical atmosphere. It’s blending a wide range of influences such as Japanese samurai films, westerns and mysticism. It’s begging for a film adaptation. Writer Kelly Sue DeConnick does great work here.

Notable Mention:

Stumptown
Oni Press

The Rundown: a mystery taking place in Portland, Oregon that follows female detective Dex as she deals with gambling debts and cases. Very Jessica Jones, minus the superpowers and proclivity for ‘buttplay’ (had to do it). She’s’ tasked with finding the missing daughter of the head of the Native American tribe she owes money too.

Why it’s So Damn Cool: First off, this would work better as a TV show. I know that. But, I had to give it some recognition.  Greg Rucka is one of the best crime writers today. He knows how to write the best female characters, without resorting them to simpering wimps that need to hold onto a boy’s hands to walk them across a street. Dex, the main player here, is as tough as they come. She can take a beating like those ol’ Murdock boys and she still manages to get up. In the foreword, Stumptown is repeatedly compared to an old 70s PI television show called The Rockford Files. She gets worked over more often than Jim Rockford. Her bashed up eye is as ever present as Jack Nicholson’s messed up nose in Chinatown Again, the protagonist here is flawed. She’s like you and me. She has vices. She has weird penchants. She’s detective who isn’t a master of deduction. She gets her answers through any means necessary. Our hero is trying to save herself. Finding the missing girl isn’t about making sure she’s safe; its’ about clearing a debt. A story that is to gripping to be put down. Stumptown is an amazing story.

The people writing and directing current comic book movies are people who grew up reading comics and agonized through a period where the comic book films of old were mostly bad. The next generation of CBM writers and directors won’t be so deferential towards them because they never grew up in a world without them. Right now, CBMs are great, but not as diverse as they should be in terms of story. Comic readers today are in an age where indie comics are as good, if not better, than mainstream comics. Considering we are hitting a point where not only are we getting beloved characters brought to life on screen at a near alarming rate, we are getting the most truly comic inspired stories yet! Does that mean, in years to come, rebooting these characters we’re so successfully adapting now, will be unnecessary? I think you could argue yes. I think the films are evolving and the storytelling is getting bigger, but setup is still a necessary evil. Knowing the next chapter before it happens is still the norm.

Characters are merely managed until then to fit into place when these events hit. As inventive as the recent Marvel films have been with tone/genre to suit characters before the big team-up movie, it actually only deflates the huge build up because no earthly threat stands a chance against the monetary power of the sequel potential. With indie comics, there’s an appreciation for story and character that Marvel and DC sometimes don’t get nowadays. Don’t get me wrong, there are great stories in MCU films; I’m sure the DCEU will bring some heat too. But, the bigger picture though is that there are far too many blockbusters these days. At one point there was only a few portioned out in a year, and the anticipation was there on most occasions. It’s all about setting up the next event. These movies used to be all about the anticipation of them, primarily fueled by the name recognition and pre-existing emotional investment. With indie comics, there’s usually not a huge universe to reference or setup as the stories are more intimate and personal.

Maybe I’m wrong. This entire editorial is really just a combination of thoughts I’ve been having recently. I tried my best to convey them in an acceptable manner. If I could get my point across in a few sentences I would say: Comic book movies can be great as long as they keep diversifying and changing from what’s been previously done. With a few exceptions, most comic book movies think people are satisfied with just seeing characters and scenarios they recognize. As long as someone can say “I know that guy!”, then who cares if there are compelling story-lines. Indie comics lack a familiarity that modern CBMs have. Setup, famous scenarios and recreating panels wouldn’t be top priorities. I love the current state of CBMs. I’m having a blast watching them.  At the end of the day, as a fan of bigger publishers and smaller ones, I just want to see something different at times.  But, I sometimes find myself considering how long can I be amazed by the Justice League or Avengers? How long can Batman and Iron Man keep my interest? I think I’ll always be interested, but I often wonder if I will. I think these are questions that every CBM fan should ask themselves. As I’ve said before, I feel spoiled by CBMs. We can literally make anything. Will this overindulgence make me lose my appetite for them? Only time will tell. I’m certainly happy with the current state of the comic book movie genre. However, it’s never wrong to think on the future though.

LET IT MARINATE!!!

Thanks for the read! Always open to (friendly) critique!

If you’re allergic to spoilers and have not yet seen the mid-season finale to Arrow, turn back now.

Final warning.

Good. So Felicity ended the season in a bit of a pickle. She survived a gas chamber and put a ring on it, only for her limo to be riddled with bullets. Felicity Smoak, hacker extraordinaire and love interest to Oliver Queen, could well be dead. Except nobody believes that will be the case, as the actress has already been seen on set for the nest season and because nobody really dies in this show. Felicity will be back, the only question is what kind of shape she will be in.

As reported on comicbook.com one popular theory is that Felicity will take up the role of Oracle, a DC universe character and alternate identity to Barbara Gordon. The reasoning being this is that Oracle was a wheelchair bound character after suffering a gun shot, and is an expert computer hacker who provides support for vigilante characters (usually Batman and his crew). As the comicbook.com article states, the Arrow showrunner has said that Felicity will get a codename in the future.

‘Superquirky’ was suggested by marketing.

So it seems likely that Felicity Smoak could well become Oracle in the near future. I have a problem with this. Not just the alpha-nerd rage about Barbara Gordon’s codename being napped for another character either.

Let’s wind the clock back to 1988 when DC released the Alan Moore scripted, Brian Bolland illustrated one-shot comic ‘The Killing Joke’, widely considered to be one of the best Batman stories ever written. Batman is questioning his dynamic with The Joker, knowing that their back-and-forth is going to wind up with one of them killing the other, and he wants to at least try to reason with him before it comes to that. It turns out that he’s already to late because The Joker has already escaped Arkham and is unrolling a plan to drive Commissioner Gordon insane. The first step in his plan involves turning up at his door and shooting his teenage daughter in the gut. Barbara Gordon is mortally wounded and The Joker pursues his plan only to be foiled by Batman. Barbara, who was Batgirl, was left paralysed and it was intended that she would be written out of the story. 

Some people did not take kindly to this suggestion, especially editor Kim Yale and John Ostrander, who vowed to ensure that the character wouldn’t be left to fade into obscurity. Gordon was one more female character to join the depressing ‘Women in Refrigerator’ list maintained by writer Gail Simone. For those unaware, this list keeps track of the female characters who have been killed, mutilated or de-powered for the purpose of motivating the male characters into action. The name comes from the 1994 Green Lantern story where the hero finds his girlfriend dismembered and packed into his fridge, written only to give the hero a reason to fight the bad guy. Barbara Gordon was Batgirl, a main character and well known hero, who makes a one page appearance in a major story and left paralysed only to give Batman a reason to beat up the Joker, because he didn’t already have one apparently. This is a definite case 0f a female character being written out for the sake of a male hero.

Thanks to the intervention of Yale and Ostrander the character was kept on as a major part of the Batverse. Having been established as having a high intellect, Barbara took on the codename Oracle and served as a data and observation hub for the Bat-family. She kept everyone in contact, provided information and hacked everything that needed hacking. She maintained a strong physique and mastered the use of hand-to-hand weapons that she could use from her wheelchair. Being restricted by a wheelchair was a blow to Gordon. She had been a physically exuberant character. Trained in ballet, she took up the mantle of Batgirl largely for the thrill of the adventure. She revelled in swinging through the city and taking on bad guys, pushing herself to the physical limits. Becoming Oracle was not a necessity or a compromise, but a redirection of her energies and passions. It was a positive and powerful character development, and she was a massive hit with both readers and critics. DC faced more backlash for restoring her ability to walk in 2011 than they did for making her Oracle to begin with.

Now compare that to Felicity Smoak going through the same transition. Felicity is already a master computer technician and hacker who provides support and communication for the team of vigilantes who work with Green Arrow. Becoming Oracle would have her doing the exact same thing in a wheelchair. She won’t need to redefine herself as a character the same way Barbara Gordon did. The only…ONLY…reason this would be done is to give Oliver Queen a reason to go gunning for Damien Darhke. They’re making this personal by crippling his girlfriend. 

Making Felicity Smoak into Oracle will not only add her to list of women in refrigerators, but fly in the face of the objections people raised to Barbara Gordon being paralysed in the first place. The creation of Oracle flew in the face of a long standing narrative tradition of murdering women for the sake of motivation, and now they’re using the name brand to do just that.

I have a problem with Felicity Smoak being made Oracle.

Buzz-worthy books of the week

All-New X-Men #2

This book is off to a seriously good start, which is a good thing because I didn’t care for Extraordinary X-Men much. They definitely want that to be the X-flagship too. Anyway, a lot seems to have happened in the Marvel universe that they aren’t quite telling us yet. Where’s Thor? Where’s Hulk? Where’s the Richards? And where is present day Scott Summers? He’s on the cover, but he also did something to influence a new group of mutant terrorists. And young Cyclops is really pissed about it.

Huck #2

The first issue was really cool an very un-Millar-like. In my opinion, that’s a good thing. Millar always seems to indulge in crazy shit just for the sake of indulgence. This is a full turn around for him with a genuinely, sincerely good person who happens to be superhumanly strong.

Klaus #2

I really dug the first issue. Morrison is playing it cool retelling the Santa myth. He is not getting too weird with it like he has been criticized for in the past with his Batman work even though the pagan background could probably be rife with weirdness. He’s portraying Santa as a damn Game of Thrones hero, and it is pretty cool.

Lucifer #1

I suppose we should have seen this coming. Lucifer, at least the version originating in “Sandman” and once had his own title, is getting another title leading up to his live-action TV debut. The series sounds pretty intense. It starts with God dead, and Lucifer teaming up with his brother, Gabriel, to find the real killer.

Squadron Supreme #1

More outcasts from the dead worlds coming to the regular MCU. Each member of this Squadron is from a different version, and they are coming together to give Namor a lesson for destroying their worlds.

Starbrand and Nightmask #1

These two character are former “New Universe” characters reimagined for Jonathan Hickman’s Avengers run. Except, I don’t remember them getting a lot of action or backstory or development, which is too bad. Hopefully, this will be better, and maybe even open the door to more New Universe characters to enter the MCU.

We Are Robin #7

I fell off this book, but I’ll be checking it out for the on-going Robin War story arc. This is part 4, and Jason and Tim are pitted against each other by the Court of Owls.

This is a delicate post for me to write.  I live in a country (USA) where the issue of racism is probably more prevalent in the media than it’s been in twenty years.  Freddie Gray, Oscar Grant, the Charleston, South Carolina church shootings; the list goes on and on.  My country also has a racist, pompous, misogynist, clueless asshat currently running for President sowing discord and exacerbating the problem.

There’s a lot of truth to these incidences of racism.  I won’t deny that. There’s also a lot of sensationalized media coverage.  I’m looking at you Fox News and CNN.  “Clickbait” has entered the societal lexicon for a reason. Stories are designed to create emotional responses rather than report facts. Anyone with at least a modicum of critical thinking  recognizes this.  Racism is an issue that permeates all areas of life.

This includes the movie industry, especially with book to movie adaptations.

We’ve all seen instances where black actors have been cast in white roles. Denzel Washington was cast as Gray Grantham in 1993’s The Pelican Brief and more recently Michael B. Jordan was cast as Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four.  Invariably, there’s an outcry of people who rail against the decision, not necessarily because they are racist (although that is sometimes the case, I’m not stupid) but because they want to preserve the integrity of the book and/or the character in the book isn’t black or Latino or Asian.

Additionally, there tends to be what I call “knee jerk racism” from people who feel that just because someone disagrees with a casting choice it automatically makes them a default racist.  This concept is ridiculous to the point of absurdity.  In fact it’s kind of disingenuous if you think about it. These people are making an automatic assumption about someone based on an opinion regarding an acting choice.

What prompted me to write this article was the recent announcement that Idris Elba is the frontrunner for the role of Roland Deschain in the movie adaptation of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower.  This movie has been in Development Hell for so long, that I’ll actually believe it’s happening when I see a trailer.  So the fact that Idris Elba is in the lead may be a moot point. Regardless, there’s naturally people who think this is a bad choice because Roland is white in the books.  Although people have given numerous reasons based on the novels as to why Elba’s casting wouldn’t work, the cries of racism have arisen.  Don’t believe me?  Please take a moment to peruse the comment section for this website about the casting:

http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/idris-elba-is-the-frontrunner-to-play-roland-deschain-in-the-dark-tower-328

Wow.  To say some of these posts from Keyboard Cowboys come across vitriolic is an understatement.  Is this really necessary?  In a word: no.

Personally, I agree with the people who think Elba would be miscast in the role of Roland Deschain.  Not because I question Elba’s acting talent.  I think he’s one of the best actors working today and if he doesn’t get a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination for his work in Beasts Of No Nation, I’ll be shocked.  In point of fact if he does get the role I’ll still watch because A: his acting talent and B:  the movie will actually be a reality and I’m a huge fan of the series.

No, the reason I believe it’s not the correct choice is because Roland Deschain is a white male in the books.  I’m not talking about physical appearance though.  Roland has blue eyes and black hair but that’s not important. I know this seems contradictory but I’ll explain in a bit.  Note what I wrote is different from saying Idris Elba shouldn’t get the part because he’s black. Now THAT would be a racist statement.  The character simply isn’t written as a black man.  If Hollywood adapted Octavia Butler’s brilliant science fiction novel Kindred and wanted to cast a white female as Dana, the main protagonist, I’d feel the exact same way.  It wouldn’t make sense.  The fact that Dana is a black female is intrinsically tied to the novel itself.

Just as Dana’s African-American heritage fundamentally correlates to the multiple themes of Kindred, so too does Roland being Caucasian tie to The Dark Tower series.  In the second novel The Drawing of the Three, race plays a big role.  There’s a conflict between Roland and ‘Detta Walker that revolves around the fact that Detta hates white men.  It’s an integral part of the dynamic between the two and bears on the novel and the followup novels as well.  Casting Roland as a black male completely undermines this relationship and in my opinion would ruin an important part of the book.

My point here is that I think people unjustly jump to the racism reaction without examining the facts or the reasoning behind someone’s opinion.  In situations where casting a white or black actor would have no bearing on the film I have absolutely no issues.  There’s plenty of parts out there that are non-specific when it comes to race.  If race has no bearing on the part and you object to a casting choice based solely on the person’s race, gender, or ethnicity, then yeah that’s bigoted.  It’s like the people who object to the all-female Ghostbusters film based solely on the fact that they are women.

They’re women. Get over it.

Whether or not Idris Elba eventually lands the part is irrelevant.  His situation is just part of a larger race issue that comes up every time a non-white actor gets cast in a white role.  While these are discussions that should happen, need to happen, making baseless racist accusations will not forward racial equality in the movie industry.  In fact it’s just the opposite. Until we take the time to analyze and examine the various instances that come along individually and promote rational discourse, we’ll never get anywhere on this topic.

You can follow me on Twitter as Darth Gandalf at @DarthGandalf1

Directed by: Tom McCarthy

Starring: Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams, and Brian d’Arcy James

Plot: A special investigative division of The Boston Globe uncovers a child molestation scandal within the Catholic Church.

Review:

In 2001, The Boston Globe’s “Spotlight” team, one of the oldest operating investigative journalism teams in the United States, was tasked with following up on cases of child molestation perpetrated by local priests. They were shocked to find that not only were there many more incidents than they thought possible, but the Church was actively hiding and relocating priests. As a resident of the Greater Boston area who was raised in a Catholic family, this was kind of a big deal for me. This is the ultimate betrayal to be led to treat an organization as the moral center of the universe only to find out that they were aiding and abetting known child molesters. This is a delicate issue. Thankfully, director Tom McCarthy lives up to the task of bringing the story to the screen tastefully and respectfully.

McCarthy might be more recognizable as the awful reporter from the final season of “The Wire,” but he has also been making a name for himself as a director in the indie arthouse corners for a few years. With his past features, like the charming Peter Dinkalge vehicle The Station Agent or the sports dramedy Win Win, McCarthy has been combining understated performances with lived-in characters that shape movies that are able to compel while seemingly saying nothing at all. Those characteristics are what help make this story come to life. It allows it to have a dramatic punch without feeling exploitative and establishes a sense of unspoken community with little to no exposition bogging down the pacing.

The ensemble is a great tool in this sense. The reporters are all inherently reserved people, but the likes of Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, and Brian d’Arcy James pepper them with the kind of nuanced behaviors that make them feel like real people and not like . After all, these are real people they are playing. The only member of the team who has a usual movie outburst is Mark Ruffalo, and he kills it using anger to accentuate the universal feeling we should all be experiencing. I usually hate those heart-on-sleeve rants. They are just too on the nose, but Ruffalo makes it impact with all his strength. The guy next to me in the movie theater started sobbing, and I was so damn close to joining him. 

The movie is also surprisingly exciting. What we see is mostly just legwork and paper chasing, but it flies around like a roller coaster. It must be the most exciting journalism movie since All the President’s Men. It probably helps that the stakes are realistically high (the well-being of kids), and the restrained raw emotion of the cast compounds that feeling. I think it is just nice that in a time when Hollywood gets so many criticisms for leaning too much on over-the-top blockbuster action movies that there are filmmakers that can earn excitement from a war of words. 

Rating: 9/10

Depending on which generation you’re from, you’ve been waiting for this moment for quite some time. Either you were introduced to Star Wars through its initial release, rerelease, prequels, or even more recently in preparation for Episode VII. There are going to be a lot of opinions on The Force Awakens from fans for years to come. Analyzing, breaking down, and figuring out just where this new film fits in with the “rankings”. Is it better than half of them? Any of them? All of them? The debate will rage on for years.

As perhaps just another pat on the back for JJ Abrams, or possibly as just “one more person” you know who liked it, I’ll say I think it’s far better than the entire prequel trilogy, and perhaps the best Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back. Yes, I even think it might be better than Return of the Jedi. It’s almost impossible to really “get into it” without talking about spoilers, and since my review is being published so early, I’m not going to “get into it”. We’re going to lightly graze over the story, so as to not spoil major plot points for those still waiting to see the film this weekend.

First off, if you’ve read spoilers online, they’re probably half-true. I had read several spoilers online where some of it ended up being true, and others ended up false. So, don’t be mislead by what you read online. Even the most well thought out spoilers could be half full of crap. The new saga is clearly shaping up to have a trio of core protagonists, Rey (Daisy Ridley), Finn (John Boyega), and Poe Dameron (Oscar Issac). I don’t feel like that’s a spoiler, but they’re shaping up to be the new Luke/Leia/Han for a new generation. I thought each new hero was set up rather well, and by the end of the film, all were true heroes, and earned their place in Star Wars Canon. There’s also a villain, Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), and depending on how you feel about him… well… I loved the film, and Ren is no Vader.

I think that’s the point though. He’s not Darth Vader yet, much like Anakin Skywalker wasn’t. He’s desperately trying to be as powerful as Vader, but that eludes him somehow. He begs for more darkness from his master, Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis, doing some great motion capture again), but I think we won’t see that darkness until 8 or 9.

If you’re a parent, you’re going to be buying your kids a lot of BB-8 toys. He’s somehow an adorable version of R2D2. For a character that only speaks in beeps and sounds, he has a remarkable personality and offers a lot to the script, much the same way R2D2 did for the first six films. Don’t worry, R2D2 is back, as is C-3PO. The best part about being mechanic is you don’t age, something that keeps Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Leia (Carrie Fisher) on the sideline. True, Han has a few action sequences, but he’s limited by his age. His running is actually jogging.

I promised no spoilers (but this might be a tiny spoiler). The film goes to great lengths to make sure that Luke Skywalker is not needed for Episode 7. The Force Awakens is the official title, but it could also be called The Search For Luke Skywalker. The entire plot of the film actually revolves around trying to find Luke, so it would be a spoiler for me to say whether or not anyone actually ever does. But keep that in mind if you were hoping for tons and tons of Luke Skywalker action. The way the plot is set up prohibits that from happening.

One of the reasons I loved The Force Awakens is because it doesn’t feel entirely like a Star Wars film. The way it was shot, was not in a way to “mimic” George Lucas’s look in any way. This is a JJ Abrams film, 100%. It looks different, and feels different. It’s still very much a love letter to the original film, and it tells a great story with great characters. But this is a new story from a new director. Keep that in mind.

It’ll be fun to actually debate key plot points from the film later when everyone isn’t so picky about spoilers, but for now… may the force be with you.

FINAL GRADE: A

***MINOR SPOILERS BELOW***

Plot:  Set several decades after the events of Return of the Jedi, the new First Order has risen from the ashes of the Empire.  Among the leaders of this evil new regime are cruel General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson), dark side Force wielder Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), and his mysterious and secretive master Supreme Commander Snoke (Andy Serkis).  Only the Resistance, led by General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher) has been able to hold the First Order at bay.  When Leia dispatches intrepid pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) on a secret mission to the desert planet of Jakku, the First Order learns of this mission and sends Kylo Ren after him.  The information these two seek is nothing less than the secret location of the last known Jedi in the galaxy–Luke Skywalker.

Review:  Star Wars fans if you were severely disappointed by the prequels I say this:  REJOICE!  The Force Awakens is the Star Wars film you are looking for.  Director JJ Abrams has crafted a visually stunning, face paced narrative, rife with new strong characters and some of the old ones you know and love.  While not a perfect film, The Force Awakens FAR surpasses any of the prequel films and stands tall as a Wookie in the pantheon of Star Wars movies.  From the moment the opening text scrolls across the screen, accompanied by John Williams’ signature score, I couldn’t help but be swept back to my childhood watching the original trilogy on VHS.  Thankfully, that feeling never left me through the whole film.

Undertaking a Star Wars film is no easy feat and I’m sure Abrams, a huge Star Wars fanboy himself, certainly felt the pressure to deliver a good movie.  Lawrence Kasdan, Michael Arndt, and Abrams’ script manages to recapture the joy of the original trilogy and while the film occasionally veers a little too much into nostalgia, the good outweighs the bad by a longshot. Also no midi-chlorians, no wooden acting, and most importantly no Jar Jar Binks.  In fact no Gungans at all.  Meesa so happy ’bout dat one, jaba jaba.

JJ’s made some excellent choices in creating The Force Awakens, including toning down his signature “lens flare” shots and utilizing practical effects on a much broader level.  CGI is typically only used when it’s needed, most often with space battle scenes (which did not disappoint) and Snoke, whose appearance is so vast and imposing that using a suit would have been impossible.  Abrams also keeps the pacing tight, punctuated with plenty of action and little exposition.  However, lest you think it’s all action, don’t worry, there’s plenty of emotional moments where nary a blaster is fired. Dan Mindel’s cinematography is very reminiscent of Gilbert Taylor’s style, the cinematographer of A New Hope, with the space battles rivaling any we’ve previously seen.  There’s a particular one early on in The Force Awakens on Jakku involving a certain iconic ship that is absolutely astounding to watch.

Speaking of that iconic ship, its iconic pilot Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and his co-pilot the Wookie Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) are also back. Of all the returning characters, these two get the lion’s share of the screen time.  Ford notoriously blasted the character that made him a household name for years, but he looked like he was having a blast in The Force Awakens.  I won’t spoil what he’s been up to the last few decades but suffice it to say he’s regressed in his old age.  Han’s relationship with Leia is also markedly strained due to circumstances integral to The Force Awakens plot.  To her credit, Fisher slips right back into the role of Leia easily and wears the mantle of command well.  She seemed to be having just as much fun as Ford was throughout the movie. However, those hoping to see a lot of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) will be sorely disappointed, although the little we do see is EPIC.

As great as it was to see the original characters back in action (even Nien Nunb and Admiral Ackbar show up) the heart of The Force Awakens is in its emerging new characters, Finn (John Boyega), Rey (Daisy Ridley), and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver).  Abrams and company chose well when selecting these guys.

Boyega brings us a character in Finn (originally designated as Stormtrooper FN-2187) that Star Wars fans have never experienced before.  We’ve always seen Stormtroopers as mindless automatons.  Finn is the first time we’ve seen a person inside the suit and more importantly, one with a conscience. Finn cannot stand the mass violence and destruction that the First Order imposes and makes a dangerous decision to abandon the First Order. How it comes about is one of the highlights early in the film.  Finn serves as the real heart of the film.  A lot of the humor (sometimes too much) comes from Finn and you can’t help but fall in love with his good nature, his bravery, and his sense of adventure.  He’s a person who seeks purpose in this life and a chance to be a force for good.  I’m surprised Star Wars fans haven’t started a hashtag called #WeAreAllFinn.

Daisy Ridley’s character Rey meanwhile serves as the Luke Skywalker type. Rey is someone whose past is shrouded in mystery.  Abandoned by her family on Jakku when she was five for unknown reasons, Rey spends her days scavenging for metal amongst wrecked Star Destroyers while living in an abandoned AT-AT walker. Her burgeoning Force abilities are something that scares her rather than excites Rey however.  It isn’t until she’s forced into a desperate situation with Finn and droid BB8 (Bill Hader, yes THAT Bill Hader) that the course of her life begins to change.  Rey possesses much more confidence than Luke ever did however.  And, as you’ll see, she’s just as good of a pilot if not better than he was.  It’s great to see such a strong female character on the screen who’s independent, resourceful, and loyal. There’s been a dirth of strong female characters in the Star Wars universe for far too long.  Ridley’s taken up the mantle and run with it.  She’s an amazing young actress.  I loved everything about her performance and I can’t wait to see not only where Rey’s character goes next, but also where Ridley’s career goes as an actress.

And then there’s Kylo Ren.

I say this with no hyperbole:  Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren is second only to Darth Vader when it comes to Star Wars villains.  He’s brutal and ruthless yet he’s also conflicted about his own actions.  Ren revels in his dark side power but he’s scared he won’t be as powerful as Darth Vader and live up to the expectations of Supreme Commander Snoke.  In a strange twist, Ren finds himself in a reverse Luke Skywalker situation.  Kylo constantly battles the temptation to fall to the light side of the Force.  It makes for a multi-layered and complicated villain and performance.  I couldn’t help but wonder what the prequels might have been like if Driver was cast as Anakin Skywalker rather than Hayden Christensen.

My quibbles with The Force Awakens are minor.  I was not impressed at all with Domhnall Gleeson as General Hux.  Gleeson played him like a Nazi crony and it came across as corny and cantankerous rather than evil.  Serkis’ Snoke also looked a lot like the orc Bolg from The Hobbit films.  Gwendoline Christie’s Captain Phasma also comes across superfluous and underutilized. Abrams and crew could have written her completely out of the movie and it wouldn’t have made a difference.  Conversely, Oscar Isaac’s amazing Poe Dameron was if anything underused.  And of course there is a another Death Star like weapon in The Force Awakens which is a little repetitive…at least until you see how cool the weapon is!

Minor blemishes and all (I refuse to call them warts), The Force Awakens reminds us all why we fell in love with Star Wars in the first place.   I had a goofy grin plastered on my face for the whole two plus hours.  The majority of the audience did as well.  To know that the torch will pass to a new generation of children (one of which will be my own son Quentyn) just warms my heart more than an Ewok campfire.

The biggest disappointment about The Force Awakens was watching it end. To know that I have to wait eighteen more months to see what happens next pains me.  At least we will have Star Wars: Rogue One in between.

The Force has awoken my fellow nerds.

The magic is BACK.

My rating:  9/10

You can follow me on Twitter as Darth Gandalf @DarthGandalf1